The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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