ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
