is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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