lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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