is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
