I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
