She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
