quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
