I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Swine flu. Run for my life!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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