My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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