You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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