i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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