"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
