i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Let the clothes fall where they may.
tell me about the fingering
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
