just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
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you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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