the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
