Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
