My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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