Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
