so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
