i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
