Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
