I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
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