There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
