yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
