i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
