Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
