Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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