I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You were trust falling into bushes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
