Welp...herpes.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
