I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize