oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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