I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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