I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
