what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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