what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize