so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
