New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
