turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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