you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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