i just wanna soil my oats bro
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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