Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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