I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
