just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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