is wine microwaveable?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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