Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
His hands were made for my vagina.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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