plz talk dirty to me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
