She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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