dude i'm inner monologue high
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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