My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
