She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
