Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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