the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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