this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
