you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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