I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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