It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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