it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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