So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
