he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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